Friendship fraud: warnings of rise in ‘insidious’ scam targeting older people

As you have got older, retirement has left you with more time on your hands. Loneliness has set in. Luckily, you have found a friend through one of the online motoring groups you are in, and a close bond has blossomed over your common interest in cars.
But your new friend has found themselves short when it comes to paying for their university textbooks, and has asked you for £50. It’s not much, and you get on so well that you agree to pay via bank transfer.
It will be the first of many requests for payment that the “friend” makes, all for seemingly small amounts, but which mount up as part of a structured “friendship fraud” that preys on older and vulnerable people who are in search of human contact.
TSB is reporting a rise in scams where criminals are using social media to befriend people before defrauding them out of thousands of pounds, often over lengthy periods of time.
The scam has many of the same characteristics as romance fraud, where victims are duped into thinking they have found a partner, and preys on older people who may have been bereaved or are isolated.
In one case, a TSB customer lost £4,000 after befriending someone on Instagram who said they needed urgent help with medical bills. In another, someone in their late 60s spent four years talking to a scammer who said they were trying to flee an abusive family, and made 60 payments to them.
After another pensioner made friends with someone on Facebook, they were told they had to send gift cards and money to the criminal or they would cut contact. The victim got refunded £3,000.
Caroline Abrahams of the charity Age UK says the fraud is “especially horrible and insidious”.
“Older people who are lonely or bereaved are particularly vulnerable to being targeted, as criminals seek to exploit their isolation and yearning for friendship to part them from their money,” she says.
“Being scammed in this way can have devastating consequences, with victims suffering catastrophic losses – destroying not just their finances but their health, wellbeing and capacity to trust other people.”
What it looks like
The first contact is often in a group on Facebook or through a direct message on Instagram. The opening messages may have been researched by the fraudster so they effectively groom the victim into thinking they have common interests.
Steph Harrison, a fraud specialist at TSB, says the fraudsters will take some time before asking for money.
“They can look through your posts and replicate or repeat some of that to try and build the relationship,” she says. “It’s relatively specific, which involves work on the other side.”
Once the relationship is established, the fraudster may try to keep it going for years, seeking constant small payments for items such as groceries. Or they may ask for a large sum, such as £500 for a flight, saying that they need to immediately travel for medical reasons.
Often they will ask for payment through gift cards as well as via bank transfer. The average amount lost by a victim is £3,100, according to TSB.
What to do
Once the conversation turns to money, then sever the relationship with your new online friend, says Harrison.
If you feel that you have been scammed, report it to Report Fraud, and also talk to your bank. Try to log all interactions you have had with the criminal.
If you suspect a parent or another older relative may be being defrauded, try to have a conversation with them about their new friendship.
Look for gaps in the story of the new friend, and encourage your relative to question why that person is asking for money.
Ensure your relative’s social media settings are suitable to maintain privacy so that they are not sharing any information that could later be used to manipulate them.
Age UK has online advice about scams and can be contacted for free at 0800 169 65 65.