She went bankrupt at 28 caring for her mother-in-law and baby — and 63 million Americans face the same trap

Deanna Adkins was 28 when she filed for bankruptcy in February, but it wasn't because she was reckless with money. Her mother in law had moved in after being scammed into homelessness, and Deanna welcomed her first child shortly after. The bills from these responsibilities, as you'd expect, became overwhelming.

It got worse when her sales job pulled back its remote option while she was pregnant, and Deanna had to stop work. Between paying rent, two car loans, baby expenses and the cost of caring for a 66-year-old with dementia, the credit card debt piled up. Her husband works full time and takes on overtime but it wasn't enough.

"I couldn't keep up with the payments, so I just let everything go delinquent until I had to deal with it," she told USA TODAY (1).

Adkins is part of what researchers call the sandwich generation — adults simultaneously supporting aging parents or in-laws and raising young children.

About one in four American adults are currently in this position, according to the AARP and NAC's report (2). That's 63 million caregivers, a 45% increase since 2015, and 29% of those caregivers are sandwiched. If you focus on caregivers under 50, that number jumps to 47%.

People in their 40s and 50s are the most exposed. 47% have a living parent aged 65 or older (3) and are either raising a child under 18 or still providing financial support to an adult child.

A recent analysis by Choice Mutual found the average combined annual cost of child care and senior care is about $104,000 (4) for sandwich generation families, and it would result in an annual debt of $64,000 for an average sandwiched family.

Read More: Here’s the average income of Americans by age in 2026. Are you keeping up or falling behind?

A 2025 survey by Finance of America (5) studied about 2,000 adults, and found that 69% of sandwich generation caregivers feel financially exhausted, 86% are emotionally exhausted and 80% are physically exhausted caring for parents, which isn't a surprise when they're in debt, and still have to spend a lot of their time, money and energy caring for others.

This also affects their career, like Deanna. More than half of working caregivers have had to step back from promotions at work, cut hours, or leave their job completely.

The lifetime toll is even worse on women: female caregivers lose an average of $320,000 (6) in wages, retirement savings, and Social Security benefits over their lifetimes.

And then there's retirement — 59% of caregivers (7) have stopped contributing to their retirement account because they have to divert that money to supporting their parents and children.

For now, the generation that's most affected are the Gen X (adults in their 40s and 50s). The median Gen X retirement savings is just $40,000 (8), and about 70% of this generation says they're behind on hitting that amount. Even in the top 25% of Gen X that earn more, the median retirement savings is $72,000, which is still a long way to go.

Lakelyn Eichenberger, a gerontologist and caregiver advocate at Home Instead, says that "People are having children later in life, so they've found themselves caring for their aging parents and their young children."

This means more years of being sandwiched and less time in the middle for them to recover financially. According to Lakelyn, "the financial impact has a ripple effect. It's preventing them from saving for their own retirement, or perhaps taking away from their income to go on family vacations or save for their child's tuition".

Adkins looked into adult day care for her mother in law, but the program she found costs $100 a day with insurance, and it only supports families for 5 hours per day. It helps, but it still doesn't fit around a work schedule.

"Even that, with schedules and jobs, I couldn't find anything that I'd be able to work after dropping off and picking her up," she said.

There's no clean way out of the sandwich, but there are ways to limit the long-term damage. Here's what you can do in this situation:

Having a full picture of the amount you are spending to care for your parents and children can help you manage your finances long-term.

It helps you know the amount you take from your savings, what goes on credit and what you're losing in wages. This clarity will help you manage the long-term effect sandwiching can have on your finances.

Ask your parents what they planned for their future, and what they qualify for (Medicare, Medicaid, VA benefits if they served, or community-based care programs), how they prefer to be cared for, to know what they cost and how to prepare for it beforehand.

Only 39% (5) of sandwich generation caregivers discussed their parents' financial needs with them in the past year, and 60% said having that conversation would make them feel less overwhelmed.

It's tempting to divert your retirement savings to caring for a parent or child because you think there's still time in the future to save up, but it's damaging long-term. If you stop saving now, you also risk becoming a financial burden on your own children later.

At minimum, contribute enough to capture your employer's 401(k) match. If you're over 50, and you're behind on your retirement savings, a catch up contribution lets you add an additional $8,000 to your 401(k) (9) besides the standard limit. If you're between 60 and 63, your super catch-up can go as high as $11,250.

A Dependent Care Flexible Spending Account (10) lets you pay qualifying care expenses with pre-tax dollars. If you're financially supporting an aging parent, you may also qualify for the Credit for Other Dependents (11) — worth up to $500 per parent — but only if you claim it. Many sandwich generation families leave this money on the table because they don't know it exists.

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USA Today (1); AARP (2); Pew Research Center (3); Choice Mutual (4); Finance of America (5); Help 4 Seniors (6); Yahoo Finance (7),(8); Fidelity (9); HealthEquity (10); Internal Revenue Service (11)

This article originally appeared on Moneywise.com under the title: She went bankrupt at 28 caring for her mother-in-law and baby — and 63 million Americans face the same trap

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